And here are our difference.
Somehow it felt as if things wouldn’t be as great as they seemed before… somehow I felt as if your perfect angelic cover been blowed away. I must say it wasn’t a shock since I always had the doubts about you being an angel it was all too weird.
Today I saw that even you have your fears… we both have grown up in different family environments… I don’t know what our future holds or what I’ve talked to you today will make any difference in our relationship… I do understand quite well that your smart and clever and that your quick witted.
The fears you told me about, they all made sense too but it’s just that you seem unsure about everything… why would anyone say marriage is a big step after getting engaged… it just has made me abit uneasy.
You know one of the things I’m afraid of is that what if I wasn’t able to satisfy you or ended up as someone you regret… I really want us to be happy together honestly. I really truly want to make you happy too. In whatever way possible.
When we were getting engaged and still didn’t know one another back then I had thought of a few things that I needed as a must from you… 1. A home 2. Three or two meals. 3. Love/care 4. Trust 5. For you to be my listener 6. For you to be completely honest 7. And most of all for you to be content with me.
I know I might’ve come off as a very needy and a very um wantful person to you. But honestly I am glad and I feel blessed to have you. I’m quite scared too, it’s very very overwhelming for me to think that i would be living in another’s house permanently that I would be among others that I’ve barely seen and that I’d be known to the world by your name, by the title of your wife. Just thinking that I’ll be your wife is something that sends a shiver down my spine because I have no idea how to take on such a heavy title.
You said one who lives with you can tell all your flaws but the thing is even with all your flaws I’m content with who you are. When I didn’t know you I had this heartfelt desire to simply be what you needed in life. And when I promised and swore to myself that I would do anything within my power to be enough for you it also included setting my own personal desires aside and just doing absolutely anything to see you truly happy with me, to see you standing next to me and truly feeling blessed as blessed as I feel to have you as my partner.
I might’ve been someone that was put into your life by just having you tied but you… I wanted you from the day I gave the whole thing a serious thought. I thought and accepted that if you were a rude person I would give into you always just to make sure that we would live peacefully together, I had imagined you to be the worst I could’ve come up with… the only thing I can’t accept is having to share you. Not seeing you for months. You being disrespectful/abusive/controlling.
I am scared too. I know this marriage word can be too heavy trust me it is just as heavy for me as well the whole thing. But I want it and now I specifically want it with you so, whoever you are whatever your flaws are and whatever your wishes and dreams are, let me stand next to you and just be there when you achieve all of it. InshaAllah, I won’t burden you with what you do not agree to or want. But please, let me in your life. Trust me this time and I’ll work hard for a period of time to let you feel all the freedom you want. But yeah, don’t cheat. Don’t lie. Don’t ever make me share you. And please, trust me… believe me and respect me.. be there for me as my partner when I need it and I will be there for you as all you want. Some days even as someone who doesn’t bother you, but just accept me.
I hope we get married… soon. I’ve heard all that you want to do and I’m alright with it. Please help me fulfil my dreams and I promise you I won’t stop you from fulfilling yours.
To you who has now become a part of me, I am satisfied to have you as mine even with every flaw you might have. As long as your mine your all I want and even when you weren’t mine.. your all I could’ve wished for.
You and Us 