I’ve lost.

i lost

hello, i have not typed anything in quite a while. I have missed it quite much.

So, i still agree with what i previously said we do have our differences but we have our similarities as well. For the weird part I now can confidently say i have fallen in love with you. So far it has been a pleasure to love you and want you. I found out a lot of things about you and none of them may i say have made me think any differently. In my last post i said that i want you with all your flaws but now i say till now i have seen no flaw only you and you as an amazing person i wish i could explain what i feel for you as a person and not just as your fiance. I as a person as a human being am envious and proud of who you are, i as a person am impressed by everything you do and your way of thinking it definitely excites me and reminds me of how everything is still perfect. You remind me of just living and being okay even if it is hard or unfair. You show me such a weird aspect of myself i simply want to sit and praise you and mark my words im no praiser. Yet, your smile i keep thinking about it, i adore it. Your way of talking that i so was not into once upon a time now gives me peace of heart. With you i can feel my smile being bigger than my face can ever stretch for. Your jokes make me so happy because when you tell me a joke i know your having a good time that your enjoying our conversation and it makes my life shine. I fell in love with you because of how safe i felt while i would spend time with you i fell for you because of your laugh because of your dashing smile because of your jokes maybe or maybe because you feel like home. I think about you all the time i think about what you say in every situation sometimes i chuckle thinking how stupid i’ve become sometimes i feel like im obsessing over you and sometimes i feel like it is your voice that has enchanted me. I love remembering the few small video chats we’ve had i loved how i think you blushed i loved how nervous you seemed i loved how adorably cute you looked i love how everytime i see a picture of you on our chat i feel like i’ve won the world over. I find it loveable how you keep telling me the first that caught your attention in me as a person is that i love pets and all animals i find it hilarious that you think me being a rebel is something your glad about. I feel so at ease with telling you so much that sometimes im scared i might tell you too much,i am scared of losing you even if i might not i still am scared of someone coming in between us. At this point i might’ve won you over i think but somehow it’s simply not enough. I believe that right now i love you for me in a very realistic way but i want to love you for you in an insanely fantasy like way. I completely forgot to mention how amazingly hot of a human being you are…. like damn boy…. your eyes i feel shy looking at them because i feel them sparkle so blindingly bright and damn your smile like man LIKE HOW that smile its so perfect i don’t even know how it can be as beautiful as it feels to me. your sharp and long nose that makes me want to poke it or your amazingly out of this world over loaded cute cheeks that i want to pinch till you cry for help or your perfect hands with those perfect fingers damn i feel like im talking about a celebrity. And im overdoing it now… Forgive me for i am newcomer in love.

I appreciate everything you’ve told me so much and i love you so much for letting me in for letting me become a part of your life. I thank you for being you and that is all of you even the parts i might not love later on or the parts that will give me a hard time i still want you to know that right now in all honesty you are the best i have gotten or could’ve wished for. I have lost in this race of being calm and in being the second one to fall in love. I have now accepted that i may end up being the one who wants you all the time or who will cry for more attention soon and i have accepted that even though you said you love me it might not have reached that point yet but for me i do love you.

To my lovely and insanely hot and dashing fiance i love you and i have gladly lost the race of being slow and not rushing things because i am dying to be with you and to love you. i say it here and i say it today on 18th nov 2: 33 am 2022 i want you and only you. thank you for everything. may my love for you be the last love i feel for anyone.